‘My mother-in-law and mother compete to be the best grandmother’

Leonoor never had grandparents. She thought it was extra nice that it would be different for her child, because she still had all the grandparents. Unfortunately, it’s not all as sunny as she had expected it to be. “My mother-in-law and mother turn out to be real rivals and both want to be the best grandmother,” she says famme.

“Three years ago we organized a dinner for our parents and in-laws. We had just had a positive pregnancy test and wanted to tell you right away. We bought rompers with grandpa and grandma on them and packed them. They had to unwrap the gift at the same time. Tears, joy, everything passed. It was a special evening.

Caring grandmothers

When our daughter was born at 39 weeks, especially my mother-in-law and mother were immediately there for us. Maternity care was almost superfluous. They did laundry, cleaned and helped take care of our daughter. Every day one of the two came by and on some days even both. Also, after two months, they both wanted to babysit one morning or one afternoon a week so that I could do something for myself. We were so happy that our little girl, besides dear grandfathers, also had two of those nice grandmothers.

Beginning battle

For a year this went on in a fun and harmonious way. It changed the moment I was offered a job and started working for three days. Because there was no place at a daycare center in our area, we asked our mothers (in-law) if they wanted to babysit. My mother immediately indicated that she wanted to babysit for two days every week. When my mother-in-law heard this, she wanted this too. From that moment on, a lot has changed.

Starting a new job

We finally arranged it so that one grandma babysits for two days one week and the other one day. The other week it’s the other way around. That way it is evenly distributed. I thought it was a little childish that it had to be this way, but I was glad they wanted to look after their granddaughter. If they didn’t help us, I couldn’t start my new job. We were therefore very grateful to them.

Fight dear grandma

However, it turned out differently than I expected. My mother-in-law and mother turn out to be real rivals and both want to be the best grandmother. It’s very tiring and childish. When my mother-in-law finds out that our daughter has been to an indoor play paradise with my mother, she will go there immediately with her. It’s the same the other way around: did my mother-in-law take my daughter to a goat farm? Then my mother goes the following week too. I notice in everything that the grandmothers compete with each other to be the best grandmother.

Irritations

I have discussed this with my husband several times. He also thinks it’s childish how they are busy and doesn’t understand the struggle to be the best grandma either. If it continues like this, the four of us will have to talk soon. We are afraid that there will be a fight between the grandmothers, because what if one of the two falls out? Then we have a problem with our daughter’s care. All we want is for there to be no battle for the best grandma anymore. We just want them both to be a sweet grandma, that’s all.”

Divinely delicious: vegan creamy pasta with chard and tomatoes